To the question asked by most people, why I am going to Peru, my answer was „I am going home“. That’s how I felt. I didn’t grasp the real meaning of my words, however, until towards the end of my stay with the shamans. For me, staying with them has so far been the biggest step towards myself, my soul, a step home.
The saying goes „there is life before Peru, and life after Peru“. In my case, it has been and it is like that. One part of me has „died“ in Peru. It was the part that lived in the ignorace of the forgotten truth, on the basis of which it had built its life. Despite the difficult moments that I experienced on the journey through my subconsciousness, it was also very liberating to see the whole truth, and be able to experience deep love, compassion, and respect for myself. All of a sudden, everything started to make sense.
I understand life as a process of rediscovering my own self, my hidden truths and answers. It is a process during which you gradually get rid of disfunctional patterns of behavior, thinking, beliefs, which you have accumulated inside yourselves in the course of your lives.
God has the truth about each one of us ready for us. Wise books read „many are invited, but few are chosen“. The chosen ones I understand as those with the courage to walk through darkness to discover light. Their desire for the truth and life in truth is larger than their fear and life in the comfort zone.
Do you sometimes fail to understand why you feel the way you feel?
Are you unable to keep a long term feeling of happiness and love?
Today’s way of life diminishes our sensitivity to our intuition. Because of that, we live lives of misunderstanding, not just towards other people, but mostly towards us, towards our emotions, behaviour and reactions. Misunderstanding of ourselves brings along shame, and leads to irritation and aggression. We are able to understand others only to the degree to which we understand ourselves. We are able to love others only to the degree to which we love ourselves. That’s why it is only up to you to what degree you want to understand and to love. I want to understand and to love a lot.
Experiencing unpleasant emotions, such as fear, anxiety and depression, leads us to so called escapes – to overeating, alcohol drinking, drugs, medicines, antidepressives, excessive shopping, excessive care for our physical appearance, staying in so called toxic relationships, and many other habits, which allow us to escape not just reality, but also to escape emotions that are difficult for us to face.
The truth is, however, that when we understand our own emotions, and know their roots, we are able to change them. What journey you choose to discover your truth, that is entirely up to you. I have chosen many, and one of the last ones were shamanic ceremonies in the midst of the Amazon jungle in Peru.
When we allow ourselves to experience our emotions, we take away their power that they otherwise get over us every time we yield to them in fear, and when we opt for any form of escape (food, alcohol, drugs, medicine, sex etc.). This power or strength is consequently acquired by us. And as soon as negative emotions stop having control over us, there is a space freed inside of us for the positive ones – love, joy, and peace. I believe that wisdom is a matter of choice – the ability to give up the little temptations for a higher purpose.
I have always honored the truth above all. And to be able to find my truth, I was willing to give up my comfort, free time, romantic relationships, and simply everything that might have disctracted me from myself. It was a time when everything I had experienced before started to fall into place. I knew I could not miss the moment. And to be able to do the puzzle, I had to set my personal limits and priorities, and I had to put myself in the first place, without compromise.
I believe that in order to be a good person, daughter, sister, wife, partner, mummy, friend, girlfriend, coach, I must understand myself in the first place. It is a responsibility of each of us to first clean up in our lives, and to find out who we are. To first work through our emotions that otherwise burden and endanger our relationships, and that make us unintentionaly hurt other people that we love. And what´s more, that we transfer to our children in the form of energies, and they have to tackle them in their lives. We love our children only to the degree that we love ourselves.
Are you one of those people who must first experience something to believe? Are you waiting your whole life for a miracle that is not coming?
Or, are you rather one of those who believe without having to experience anything at all? Those who experience unednign feeling of love and joy of life, thanks to a belief in something genuine?
To believe in something I cannot see, cannot hear, and I have not even experienced yet, that requires a big portion of courage, and a strong longing for life. It has been a great gift to each one of us that our soul had been chosen and sent to the earth to live here in our body.
Would you want a handmade gift that you prepared for someone with love, to end up somewhere hidden in a corner, covered in dust and idle? How would you feel to come visit your friend, and see your gift there in a pitiful shape in the corner of the room? What feeling would you sense?
And how about the opposite way? How would you feel to watch your friend use your gift every day with love and respect, take care of it and pamper it? The feeling you would have is the same one that God feels each time he looks at how you treat the gift, which is the life he gave you. So how do you care for the most precious thing that you got – your life?
Why do we fear change?
Our ego is afraid of change and the losses that this change brings along. Ego is afraid of a certain disintegration of our personality that might partly happen with a deeper work with the subconscious mind. No one wants to watch, nor experience, his „castle“ that he had been building his entire life to fall into thousand pieces. But how else would you want to build new, unless you destroy the old?
By not letting our castle to get destroyed, we prevent ourselves from believing that things might also work differently. Then life brings all the same situations to us, and sends the same types of people, who reinforce our inner reality, inner belief (the truth of our subconscious mind supressed by ego), that create our outer reality, our life.
It is often stated that from all our mind (from 100%) only 5% of our behavior is conscious. The conscious mind also includes our ‘ego-consciousness’ and what we can see and feel, our personal identity, nationality, religion, our ‘truths’ and the like. So, 95% of our behaviors and reactions are non-conscious.
This 95% there are not only physiological processes and biological functions, but also a body/emotional memories and ‘forced out’ contents which were not integrable for consciousness during our development, as well as yet non-developed potentials.
During shamanic ceremonies (or other deeper self-healing work), we can connect with that immersed part of the iceberg of the consciousness, our deep subconscious mind, which has been hiding our potential, the answers to our feelings, forgotten or repressed memories, and non-lived out emotional reactions that manipulate us on unconscious level and on whose basis we have been building our life unconsciously (also on physiological level).
The subconscious mind (the body and its energy) lives only in the present,, but it has also been coding in itself in the lived past. It is non-linear, which means that if we experienced something 5 or 25 years ago and today we don’t have to remember that, our body will experience that like it were happening right at that moment, and it will find an alternative way how to stage what has been bearing on unconscious level.
The body always speaks to us. Not only by working with shamans, but also through any other form of deeper self-development through which we freely choose to strengthen our intuition, self-reflection,and open our subconscious mind; this will show us who we really are. It will help us to understand our emotions, behavior patterns, and thinking; at the same time, it will help to liberate a space to create new possibilities of positive development and better connection with yourself.